David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
