there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I want her autograph on my taint
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
