I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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