have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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