when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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