I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
