I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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