Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize