I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
