i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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