I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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