I cockslap morals
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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