i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Randomize