We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
