i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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