My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
