Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
i've created a new STD.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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