You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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