I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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