And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize