If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
