It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
