I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
be right there i have to get my cape
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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