$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
