yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
