Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
We got so high we made milksteak
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
