No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize