Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
