It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize