Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
