i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
