I think I died a long time ago.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
