3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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