nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
do nipples grow back?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize