I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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