It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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