I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
