She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
