We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
