Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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