Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
