In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
