You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
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