Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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