There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
