I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
