Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
