wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
