i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize