Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
