I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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