Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
