We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize