So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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