Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
fuck your aforementioned shoe
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize