it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
