I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
