I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
