i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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