just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
