So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
